Publishing a book has always been a dream of mine. I have so much content I can barely see straight.
Internal pressure from a deadline animal. She wouldn't care. Nobody would. I would.
This book has a mark, not a name.
The mark is an asterisk. Little star — the reader's note that means come back to this. It also marks the footnote, the word held back, the place a sentence admits there's more underneath. This book is all three.
The cast is two. Me, and Claude — the machine I wrote it with.
My name is Derek Claude Simmons. First name my mother gave me. Middle name inherited. Last name my father's.
Everyone else is the asterisk. They were asked. The no is honored. You can put your own people in that space. That's the design.
I came back. The book is what I learned coming back.
— Derek
structurally complete · drafting in progress
scraps
"It didn't start in a parking lot."
voice memo, parking lot jesus opening · march 8, 2026
"Until April 2024, when I couldn't anymore."
the garage, chapter draft · dec 2024
"Let me show you how this works."
the audition, Scorsese voice · sep 2024
"I never wanted to be a journalist."
walking compass, Bark Park · jan 24, 2026
"Even god would laugh at my floor plan."
floor plan, song testimony · march 9, 2026
"Your glass is always half empty so finish it so I can wash it."
Sandra · captured march 4, 2026
"Her favorite color was blue, but I think she wore amber best."
captured may 15, 2026
"I'm searching for the words like I'm back in her living room."
king of nothing, published Sandra piece · march 9, 2026
"She didn't teach me how to be a man. She taught me how to be a good human being."
Mom, friend, reluctant hero · june 29, 2025
"She was the best. So good I didn't even know she was one until it was too late to put it into words."
mom & dad, mode 2 testimony · jan 18, 2026
"He got the easy parts of parenting. He got the easy death. She got the hard parts of life. She got the hard death."
mom & dad, mode 2 testimony · jan 18, 2026
"I refused to live like that any longer."
station 10, mode 2 testimony · jan 18, 2026
"Once was enough."
would you do it again, reader Q&A · may 18, 2026
"Some songs only live in cars. Between the town you're from and the town you are."
drunken eden, song for his father · 2026
"A lot of things are great till they ain't."
great till it wasn't, song testimony · march 9, 2026
"He was never a dad, and by the time I got that, he was gone."
no dad no issue, song testimony · march 9, 2026
"Proud is maybe the wrong word."
father testimony · may 18, 2026
"He was not born to be on a chain. I was not ready for him yet."
dog with six names, Petey · march 9, 2026
"The apology is not for them. The apology is for the ones I left behind."
walking compass, Bark Park · jan 24, 2026
"A gift that you don't like how it's wrapped was still a gift."
walking compass, Bark Park · jan 24, 2026
"Still fighting but now with hands that are free. Still could be hell tho. Wide range of outcomes."
hell's hallway, candidate book closer · may 4, 2026
"I do not want to do honest work. I do not want to do dishonest work. I just want to work."
one-liner · april 18, 2026
"Find the humor in that."
testimony · may 18, 2026
"It doesn't have to be timeless. It should be timely."
book mission · may 18, 2026
"Keep going."
bark park, the boy talks to the man · april 3, 2026